TO WORK OR NOT? A DILEMMA FOR MANY MOMS

Published In: Parenting Created Date: 2016-07-20 Comment: 0

We can get a range of answers to this very tricky question. However, there is no concrete answer to it! It is not etched in black and white, but has many shades of grey hidden somewhere.

Pregnancy and motherhood of course are the most beautiful stages in a woman’s life. It is the most enchanting experience and women are a blessed lot.

Being financially independent and having a great career, after breaking the glass ceiling is the most exhilarating experience that any working woman gets.
Does this mean that a mother has to choose between motherhood and career? Is she not entitled to the luxury of having the best of both the worlds? Read on to find out the dilemmas faced by mothers all over and how, it is a good choice not to be burdened with guilt, whichever path is taken.

Working moms


Which path?

So, which path should a mother choose? Her motherhood or her career? There comes a cross road, where a mother has to choose between her child and her career. Believe me, this is one of the toughest decision to make at times.


Choosing to be a stay at home mom:
Thanks to the good policies at work, mothers often work till their 8th month of pregnancy and then opt for maternity leave. And once the child is born, they take a conscious decision to quit their well-paying jobs, just to experience motherhood and to be with their child. The reasons could be many such as not wanting to leave the child with a maid or a caretaker, no crèche facility at place of work, long working hours, not much support from family , lack of flexibility at work and the list goes on.
At times mothers quit their jobs, to be there at all times for their kids and raise them. Motherhood gives them satisfaction. All goes well for a period of time and then suddenly they start doubting their own decision of staying back at home. A single phone call from an ex colleague plants the seeds of doubt and it is again a period of introspection of whether the decision taken is right or wrong.


Choosing career:
Having slogged hard at earning that prestigious degree and having backed a plum role in a big organisation is a dream come true for any woman. The sense of achievement that she gets is at the highest after reaching the pinnacles of success.
Work, for some, is an elixir. They need their daily dose of mentally stimulating challenges and that opportunity to let that creativity come out. While for a few, it is the need to earn, to run the family and provide the best of everything to their children. It is a necessity and not a choice at times when finances are just not sufficient.


Do not let guilt overtake you: 
Whatever is the choice that you make, remember, do not be burdened by guilt. It does nothing except harm you and makes you feel wrong about any decision taken. Self-doubt and guilt are the two factors that both stay at home moms and working moms face every time.
Never let guilt over power you. You have taken a decision, either to work or not to work. Be proud of your decision. You have your reasons and no one need be judgemental. If you are not working currently, but an opportunity comes up in future, you can always take it up without the feeling of having sacrificed anything. And if you have chosen to work, you can find that work life balance and spend quality time with your family. It is a just a matter of how you see things and how positively you take on situations that life has thrown at you!


The grass is greener always on the other side
Everything else on the other end of the spectrum looks rosy and nice when compared to the current position you are in. Do not fall into this trap. Things are equally on the flip side at other end. It is a matter of understanding and weighing pros and cons of whether to work or not and being happy about your decision.


Last but not the least, there are a host of options and opportunities to all mothers out there – both working and stay at home moms. Explore and discover what is best for you. You can always find a middle ground between choosing work and motherhood. You always rock in whatever you do!

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